Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Well, I shan’t make any bones. I feel so hacked off at the moment I could quite happily strangle the cat (especially as it pissed on the living room floor the other night). I tell you, I am:

• annoyed at OD for having unprotected sex (“the condom split” – yeah, right)

• annoyed at her Mother for allowing her to sleep with her boyfriend despite what we had agreed

• annoyed at myself for not handling it better (after I wrote Saturday night’s blog entry I went downstairs and explained to OD that I wasn’t angry at her but at her Mother. I then ruffled her hair in an affectionate Father/Daughter way. She told me to fuck off. I lost my rag and ended up throwing a tube of Pringles at her, the top of which opened mid-flight and the contents went everywhere. Now she isn’t talking to me and I feel as though I acted like a child (which, of course, I did).

• I’m really annoyed at the evil bitch Anne. I believe that her presence (and her obvious influence) at the house of the Beast was definitely one of the reasons that OD’s Mum decided it was OK for her fifteen year old daughter to sleep with her fifteen year old boyfriend.

• I’m still annoyed at myself because of screwing up that job interview last week

• I’m annoyed at my job which – to be frank – is boring the absolute pants off me

• I’m annoyed at my Boss’ boss because I know he wants to get rid of me (although, clearly, I do see it from his perspective; I am crap at my job and have no bloody interest in it. Nonetheless I still work my fucking arse off while I’m there and it is hardly doing my morale any good. I will also add that it is not just me he is trying to get rid off but most of the team I work in).

• But I’m chiefly annoyed because I’ve put an awful lot of time, effort and – dammit – love into making OD feel wanted and cared for at my (our) home. However, as soon as Mum (the woman who threw her out let’s not forget) allows her to spend the night with her boyfriend, I become the cunt she’s not talking to whilst Mum is fab and great again. Don’t get me wrong; I want OD and her Mum to get along, and if she can get her to attend school regularly and without pain then all the better. It just galls me that I’ve tried so bloody hard to make things right (with not so much as a fucking thank-you along the way) and now – emotionally immature twat that I am – I feel rejected.

I’ll still give it a week before they are at each other’s throats again. Having stayed over at her Mum’s on Friday, when she turned-up at mine on Saturday she was wearing YD’s jeans, YD’s earrings, YD’s scarf and carrying YD’s bag. YD, of course, was less than pleased and her nose is going to feel well displaced once she has to start sharing her home with her sister again after five months of ‘me and Mum’. Battle will, I’m sure, commence.

A week I tell you.