Never have kids

Haven't had a whinge about OD for a few weeks so, I regret to say, here goes.

Her Mum rang me this morning at ten to seven as I was walking to the rail station. "I've just got a text", she said. "It reads: 'Mum, I'll be in late to school today as I'm at Chris' house'. She was at home when I went to bed last night. What the f*ck is she doing?"

What indeed! Today I had two separate telephone calls from her school. The first was from her English teacher, Mrs. Burke: "we've been back at school three weeks now and OD hasn't attended a single lesson". I explained that on the rare occasions she does get her backside into school she has been sitting the mock exams she failed to turn-up for before Christmas. I know, don't say it! I feel the same. "Plus there's her course work. Paper 2 was supposed to be re-drafted over October half-term. I'm still to receive it. She submitted her essay on ‘An Inspector Calls’ essay but this needs to be redone as she has lifted whole sections from the Internet. She's missed all the teaching and revision on ‘Of Mice and Men’ and she's also missed both the timed essays. These are valuable exam practice. She'll probably get a 'B' for Language just by turning up but she's really going to muck up her Literature GCSE". Two hours later came a call from the Deputy Head inviting myself, her Mother and OD for a meeting with him and the Brent Education Welfare Officer (who, of course, I've been talking to since last April). 9:45 on Tuesday. "She sticks out like a sore thumb", he said. "She has all these anticipated 'A' grades and yet she is failing all of them. My opinion is if they don't do well in Year 11, they never go back and do them again." I explained that her Mother and I have tried everything in the past year to get her to attend - carrot, stick, argument, persuasion, kindness, love, sarcasm - but she simply isn't interested. I told him that I'd promised to buy her two weekend camping tickets for the Reading festival (one for her and one for her boyfriend) at a cost of around £300 on the condition that she attends school between now and Easter. It was she who suggested it as an incentive, plus we are only talking a matter of weeks rather than months till all her teaching finishes, but has this made any difference? Nope. She is determined to fail. She obviously feels that she has to qualify her rebel/outcast position and dropping out of school is the way to do it. She is such a fucking idiot, I could shake her!

I spoke to her tonight, before her Mum returns and gives her the full bollocking. I repeated what her English teacher had said. She grunted. "You couldn't give a fuck, could you?" I said. "Nope" she replied.

Don't have kids. They just make you sad.