OD Update

“I’m going to University!” OD said with a look of determination on her face.

Last Thursday where it was finally decided to give OD the heave-ho from school. The Deputy Head advised me that: “Attendance is a vital component of school. We sat her down at the beginning of January and told her the position. We met with you a few weeks later and explained the situation. Her attendance still hasn’t improved, in fact if anything it has got worse. The only time we’ve seen her this week she just breezed in, without the correct uniform, listening to her MP3 player which we then confiscated from her. She still treats school as if it were a drop-in zone. Because of the situation with her Mother working here, we have been far more lenient than we would have been with anyone else and still she doesn’t come to school. She has made her choice. We won’t be entering her for any GCSEs.”

“I’m going to do a degree in English… or maybe English with Art History”

On Monday, her Mother and I attended the Education Welfare Centre for Brent where we were told that it was perfectly plausible for OD to do be entered privately for her GCSEs, although we would, of course, have to pay for them. She could study her GCSEs at sixth-form College, although he’d need to find out which ones would be prepared to take her. And, of course, she would be a year behind, but it could still be done.

“For ‘A’ levels, I’m going to do English Literature, Art History, and either Photography or Politics – I’ve not decided yet”.

OD had refused to attend the Education Welfare Centre. In fact, her Mum tells me she freaked out when she was told it was time to go. She threw the TV remote across the room and stomped off. When we got back her house, she was just leaving. I pointed out to her that she needed to decide what she wanted to do. That we needed to discuss it this week, and last night – in the company of her best friend and her cousin – is what we did. I explained to her that she wouldn’t be going back to school again. This surprised her. “I know I won’t be doing the exams there but can’t I even go in for the subjects I want to take elsewhere”. No dear, the school don’t want you there. You can’t just drop in and out when you fancy. This realisation slowly sunk in and – it must be said – clearly surprised her. However, her determination grew strong. “I’m going to University! I’ll do five GCSEs this year and six next. If I get low marks I’ll retake them, but I’m going to University”.

Well – let’s bloody well hope so!

I went to see Kris Dollimore last night. For those who haven’t heard of him he was the original lead guitarist with The Godfathers. He then had his own band, The Brotherland, who got nowhere (although my old outfit, Ship of Fools, did gig with them once). He then had a short spell in The Damned followed by a long spell with Del Amitri. There: biography over.

Anyhoo, I was heading into the West End to meet FM and we were planning on heading up to the Spice of Life in Soho for one of their jazz evenings. I flicked through a copy of ‘London Lite’ on the tube and saw that Dollimore was on at the 12 Bar Club, so we went to see him instead.

Now, I realize that people change with time but I wasn’t quite ready for the reinvention he’d undergone. No longer the indie/punky guitar hero; instead, he was a sixty year old black man. Well… not exactly, he just played like one as for the genre he was tackling was the Delta blues. On stage it was just him, his guitar and a box to stamp his foot on, sitting on a stool playing Robert Johnson covers and original material which sounded like Robert Johnson covers. He remains a class act and despite my complete dislike for the blues I did enjoy myself, especially when he encored with an instrumental version of 'Ride a White Swan'. He is also now managed by the fellow who used to be the lead vocalist in The Godfathers which was sweet bearing in mind the shit that flew between them when they booted him out of the band back in the early nineties.

But – I hear you ask – enough of your social life, what about OD? Well, she has not been in school the entire week. Her Mum advised me that she was ‘unwell’ on Monday and Tuesday. Yesterday she was too lazy to get out of bed, and today, according to a text from t’Beast, ‘she played in the snow’ [and what a snowy day it was today too!]. Great. Her horoscope for this evening was rather pertinent (Shelley von Strunkel – scary looking): ‘You’ve been sidestepping certain commitments for fear they’d be restrictive and unrewarding. But if you don’t get involved now then events will proceed without you. While you may not be thrilled with arrangements as they are, it’s better than being left behind, which is actually your only other option’. And people say there’s nothing in it!!

And on it goes....

So how was yesterday then? Better? Worse?

I was on my way into work when I got a text from OD: ‘Hmmm I don’t think I’ll bother going to school today. If I do I might end up punching Mr Early’.

Can you fucking believe this? Can you?

I texted back: ‘Are you deliberately trying to wind me up? Do you still not comprehend the seriousness of the position you are in?’

She replies: ‘Well, go on? Why should I go in and wind the upper staff at when I’d be bunking off the afternoon anyway?’

I responded: ‘Have you not been listening this week? Is your arrogance still so big you think it is a game? You have to be there!’

Fuck this texting; I rang her. We argued. Her point was that as she has been told that she is not going to be entered, there seemed little point in going in. I argued that I was told she still had a week and therefore she needed to be there. She argued back. I shouted at her. She hung up. I threw my mobile against the nearest wall. I reassembled it and texted again: ‘If you do not listen to my advice at this most critical of times but prefer instead to argue when all I am doing is trying to save your arse then is it any reason that I lose my temper? Just go in to school’

And she did. Arrived half an hour late but she got there. I rang Mr McNulty and left a voice mail message saying that I was confused by what Mr Moore had said as it was sending out mixed signals. Mr McNulty rang me back. He told me the decision had been brought forward and that she was not to be entered. “When we sit down like we did on Tuesday and explain the position, children are usually in at 8:30 the next morning. OD strolled in at 12:30 like she owned the place and she did the same again yesterday, breezing in to the Headmaster’s office without her blazer on but some fashion jacket so we threw her out. I believe the school has been very generous in tolerating OD but we’re not prepared to put with it any more. So yes, she is not being entered for her exams”.

I texted OD: ‘Just spoke to Mr McNulty. Game over. You are not sitting your GCSEs’

So what to do next? Well, first step is to appeal. I spent two hours on Friday afternoon (at the office, not working) drafting a letter of appeal, asking for forgiveness (well, it is a Catholic school) and saying OD will work hard to make things right. When I went to collect YD from their Mum’s house OD was there and I told her about it. All she was concerned about was her pocket money. I started reading her the part where it says she will make an effort to put things right. She was giggling. I told her that me and her Mother are trying to save her arse here but she just laughed more. “So am I getting any pocket money?” “No, you’re fucking not”. She then called me a ‘fucking cunt’. Sadly, at this point, I flipped. I ran up the hall and pinned her to the wall by her throat. I can’t remember what I said but suffice to say it was along the lines of ‘you silly cow, don’t you understand?’ I released her. She tried to hit me round the head. I turned to her Mum and said “hold my glasses; I’m going to fucking whack her”. OD was out the door like a shot.

So… screw the letter. It would seem that the only person who doesn’t take OD’s predicament seriously is OD. Fuck me. Never have kids.

So yesterday morning I rang OD’s house in the morning to check that she was up and getting ready for school. She wasn’t. Her Mum was nagging. OD was ignoring her. I spoke to her. She hung up. I rung back. She hung up again. You know, the usual stuff – but of course at the moment things are all the more urgent and important than ever before. She promised her Mum she’d be in by break time (she said lunchtime to me).

At five to two this afternoon, I got a text message: ‘I’ve just been told I’m not getting entered for any exams and I had a row with Mr Early [the Headmaster]. I don’t care what the school says, I will do my fucking exams’.

Oh nooooooooo, thought I. She’s got in at lunch time again and the Head has told her to go home. I texted her back: ‘How? Where? It is his decision whether your name is submitted to the exam board or not, not yours. If does not enter you, you can not sit them’.

She replied: ‘Well I’m still coming to school and doing all my coursework even though he told me to get out. as if it’s all done I can sue him for still not letting me sit them’.

I texted back: ‘If he says no, you are stuffed. Why do you think I have been in panic mode the last two days?’ Of course, by this point I felt like I was having a panic attack. My own stress levels shot through the roof. What the fuck can be done now? I thought it best to speak to the Headmaster myself so I rang him and left a message with his secretary asking him to call me back. ‘Are you still at school?’, I texted OD. Thirty minutes later came the response: ‘Yes’.

When I spoke to her this evening she was still angry but it transpired that I had misinterpreted her messages. She had gone to see her Head of Year to ask if she could take her outstanding mocks and was told that she wasn’t being entered and so she if she is going to attend classes she should just sit at the back and relax. OD then stormed off to the Headmaster’s office who, according to her, “shouted at me because I wasn’t wearing my blazer. He just talked to me like I was dirt”. Well… who can blame him? She then advised me that she’d canvassed five of her teachers who all said that if she did the outstanding coursework they felt she’d do well in the exam and would therefore be recommending that she did sit the respective GCSEs.

So – is all lost yet or is she still in with a chance? To be honest, my nerves are shot to bits at the moment. The stress levels are mullering me. Will she get up for school in the morning or will she not? Does the Headmaster mean what he is saying or does he not? Can she pull it out the bag or can she not? I feel like I’m living in a fucking cliff-hanger and it’s not a place I like being.