Wimmin

So…. I have found myself in the somewhat enviable position (well, some might say 'enviable'; I remain unconvinced) of having three different women who want to go out with me. Sounds great when you put it like that doesn’t it? If only that were so.

Woman number one is FM. I went out with her for five months, from the tail end of last year through to March. She is a great woman. We split because I felt that she was falling in love with me and, delightful as that was, I wasn’t feeling that level of emotion for her. What I didn’t tell her was that dating her made me realise just how much I had cared for BotS and that I had binned her in order to go back out with my small ginger friend. Anyhoo, I had tickets for ‘Wicked’ and no-one to go with me and so I asked her. We had a great time. I held her hand during the second act, in a kind of nice and chunmy way. A couple of days later she e-mails me saying that all the emotions she held for me that she had packed away in the attic of her mind had now been released and she wants to go out with me again. I advised her that would be the easy option but I was fearful that if we were to follow that path then five months down the line we’d be in exactly the same place as were in March, with me binning her all over again. She was not best pleased with this.

Woman number two is JP. A pleasant enough biker from Barnsley, ten years younger than I. We’ve been seeing each other off and on for a couple of months now. After the first night we slept together she disappeared for a fortnight. I took this to mean that she wanted our relationship to be one of ‘mates’ rather than anything else so whilst I have been chatting to her since, I hadn’t seen her until last week, whereupon we slept together again. She now wants us to be a ‘couple’. However I remain unconvinced.

The third is Louise. She’s a delightful woman: 42, divorced, two daughters the same ages as mine. However she is a born-again Christian and therefore believes the Old Testament is to be taken literally. I mean, literally. Homosexuality is wrong; no sex outside of marriage; women shouldn’t dress in men’s apparel. Yeah, I know what you are thinking – nutter. However, she doesn’t actually come across like that when you first meet her, only when you get to know her a little better.

So – what to do. Well, FM – lovely as she is – is not for me, which is a shame because life would be an awful lot easier if she was. Louise and I both agreed that if we were to have any future together one of us would have to change on quite a fundamental level, and as both of us are quite happy with the way that we are that’s going nowhere. As for JP, I can’t help feeling her relationship aspirations are different to mine so I fear that this should be knocked on the head too. For example, I want to be settled down, married and having a quiet life of loved-up happiness. What I don't want are any more children.

Thus, I remain – as ever – quite single.

Always open to offers though.