Four Posts - Last month and now

Thursday 14^th December 2006

This week is OD’s mock GCSEs. On Monday she attended school. On Tuesday she got in late and missed the first one but was told she could re-take it on Thursday. On Wednesday she rung me to say that she was sick but her Mum was so angry that wouldn’t tell the school so could I ring them. On Wednesday evening I went to see Little Trophy at the Betsy Trotwood in Farringdon with FM and called her Mum’s house at 9:00 to say goodnight to YD, just as I do every evening. OD was at there. I got drunk and went back to FM’s. Of course, what I didn’t know what the OD and her Mum then had a huge row and OD stomped over to mine. I found this out at 8:00 this morning when OD texted to say “why didn’t you wake me up” and the Beast rung to ask if I knew that OD had stayed the night at mine.

Realising that OD would now not make the first of the three mocks she had lined-up for today, I told her to make sure she made her way into school for the second one which was due to start at 11:00. Her Mum was going to take her school uniform in and meet her there. I spoke to her Mum at 8:45 to let her know this. Her Mum hadn’t taken her uniform. Great! I told OD that she would now miss two of her mocks but to go to her Mum’s house, get changed into her uniform and then get to school for the third exam, starting at 1:30. OD went to her Mum’s but, as Mum still hasn’t provided her with a key since she started staying there regularly again, she couldn’t get in. (She normally hops over the garden wall and enters via an open window but not today). So now OD has missed another mock exam, making a total of five out of eleven so far. Fan-fucking-tastic.

---- several weeks pass----

Monday 29^th Jan 2007
School rang this morning. OD’s not in. I texted her. About an hour later I got a response: ‘Mum knows I’m not in. Me and Niamh went to the Doctor’s to update our pill prescriptions’. (Isn’t Fatherhood wonderful!) I responded: ‘It doesn’t take the entire day to go the Doctor’s. It is not as though the surgery is in Scotland’. Tomorrow morning I’ve an appointment to see the Deputy Head and the Education Welfare Office. OD and her Mother are both due to attend. A last ditch attempt to get her to go to school in order to catch-up on what’s she’s missed and get some experience taking practice tests. Will it succeed? Unlikely. Still with February almost here, she’s only four and a bit months left until she’s gone from school forever. Personally I can’t wait!

Tuesday 30^th Jan 2007
Had a meeting at 9:45 this morning at OD’s school with the Deputy Head and the Education Welfare officer for Brent. It was supposed to be me, OD and OD’s Mum. Except that OD’s Mum rang last night to say she didn’t think it was worth bothering with as what can they say we haven’t already talked about before. OD advised me she wasn’t going because “Mr McNulty goes on at me every day so I don’t want to sit there and have to listen to it all again”. Thus, I ended up on my own. Except the meeting was run not by the Deputy Head but the Head himself and the message he gave me was a completely new one: “We are not going to enter OD for her GCSEs”. What!!!!!!!. “She was given a plan to take her Mock GCSEs when we returned to school after Christmas and she whilst she has taken some of them, there are still some outstanding, and we have a policy at this school which is if you don’t take your Mock exams, we will not submit you for your actuals. Plus she has hardly been in at all this year and attendance is an important factor in school. I don’t know where she is with her course work but the decision will be taken next week as to whether or not she will be entered for her GCSEs but as it stands at present, I’m not prepared to put her forward”.

Of course, this was not something I had been expecting at all. Apparently the Head and the Deputy Head had sat down with OD in the first week of Jan and told her that this was their intention. They had informed her Mother as well. Trouble is nobody had bothered telling me about this decision. I couldn’t believe that such a plan could be concocted without so much as a letter to either of the child’s parents. I understand their frustration but they can hardly make such important decisions without despatching some kind of written warning surely?

As soon as I left the school I rang OD (who – surprise, surprise – was still at her Mum’s house). Did she suddenly leap into a panic? Did she seem worried? In fact, did she seem bothered in the least? No, no, and fucking no. I can’t believe that child. I started getting angry and she hung up. I texted her: ‘Your only option is that you work your arse off for the last few weeks of school and hope they reconsider. Otherwise you are fucked. This is no longer a game. You have screwed up big time”.

Later this afternoon, I rang the Education Welfare Officer. I argued that there should have been some kind of formal escalation for this. Irrespective of the fact that OD’s attendance was so bad that the Head teacher reached this decision, he should have documented this information and formally advised the parents of what his plan was, not have the deputy head saying to me (as he did) “I mentioned it to her [OD’s Mum] in the hall”. He then added that OD still had the opportunity not salvage this. All she needs to do is start attending school (preferably on time). They just want to see that she is making some kind of effort.

I rang OD (who failed to get into school this afternoon) to discuss this latest development and to suggest that we met tonight (me, her, her Mum) to work out a strategy. “I don’t want to talk about it” she ranted. “You do understand that we are in crisis?” I asked. She agreed and then hung up on me for the second time today. I texted her: ‘You are such a fucking fool. We need to work out a plan of what to do and you prefer to stick your head in the sand. How big an idiot are you?’

Well, that made me feel better anyway. Ten minutes later I followed it up with another text: ‘They have to see you making an effort. If you get in on time and attend each lesson between now and half term then they might reconsider. You HAVE to do this. you just have to!!!! There is no other option’.

I visited her home after work for a crisis talk with her Mum. OD was just leaving: “Yes, yes, I know. I have to attend school. I understand”. She stomped off to go swimming.

Happy birthday to me then.

Wednesday 31^st January
10:45. School rang. OD hasn’t attended. “The deputy head asked me to check her lesson in case she is in late and she isn’t present”.

How can anyone so intelligent be so incredibly stupid?

Lunchtime I got a text. She was in school and asked if I'd drive to her boyfriend's tonight to collect her bass guitar as she needs it for music class on Friday. Well at least she's there!

Never have kids

Haven't had a whinge about OD for a few weeks so, I regret to say, here goes.

Her Mum rang me this morning at ten to seven as I was walking to the rail station. "I've just got a text", she said. "It reads: 'Mum, I'll be in late to school today as I'm at Chris' house'. She was at home when I went to bed last night. What the f*ck is she doing?"

What indeed! Today I had two separate telephone calls from her school. The first was from her English teacher, Mrs. Burke: "we've been back at school three weeks now and OD hasn't attended a single lesson". I explained that on the rare occasions she does get her backside into school she has been sitting the mock exams she failed to turn-up for before Christmas. I know, don't say it! I feel the same. "Plus there's her course work. Paper 2 was supposed to be re-drafted over October half-term. I'm still to receive it. She submitted her essay on ‘An Inspector Calls’ essay but this needs to be redone as she has lifted whole sections from the Internet. She's missed all the teaching and revision on ‘Of Mice and Men’ and she's also missed both the timed essays. These are valuable exam practice. She'll probably get a 'B' for Language just by turning up but she's really going to muck up her Literature GCSE". Two hours later came a call from the Deputy Head inviting myself, her Mother and OD for a meeting with him and the Brent Education Welfare Officer (who, of course, I've been talking to since last April). 9:45 on Tuesday. "She sticks out like a sore thumb", he said. "She has all these anticipated 'A' grades and yet she is failing all of them. My opinion is if they don't do well in Year 11, they never go back and do them again." I explained that her Mother and I have tried everything in the past year to get her to attend - carrot, stick, argument, persuasion, kindness, love, sarcasm - but she simply isn't interested. I told him that I'd promised to buy her two weekend camping tickets for the Reading festival (one for her and one for her boyfriend) at a cost of around £300 on the condition that she attends school between now and Easter. It was she who suggested it as an incentive, plus we are only talking a matter of weeks rather than months till all her teaching finishes, but has this made any difference? Nope. She is determined to fail. She obviously feels that she has to qualify her rebel/outcast position and dropping out of school is the way to do it. She is such a fucking idiot, I could shake her!

I spoke to her tonight, before her Mum returns and gives her the full bollocking. I repeated what her English teacher had said. She grunted. "You couldn't give a fuck, could you?" I said. "Nope" she replied.

Don't have kids. They just make you sad.

That Was the Week (that was!)

It’s been a funny old week. Monday I went to the theatre to see ‘Therese Racquin’. Tuesday I had my first ever proper full medical (two hours worth, including being wired up to a machine and having a strange man – oh, alright; a doctor – fiddle with my testicles and then stick his finger up my arse. I am no longer an anal virgin. What would my Mother think!). OD appears to have moved back in and is actually attending school (chiefly because I promised to buy her a pair of weekend tickets for the Reading festival this August if she did). One of my closest chums at work left the department I’m in, handing me all his horrendous audit crap as he left. I got horrendously drunk with him twice this week. Didn’t see YD as she’s too grown-up to visit. FM visited but is covered in spots due to some kind of allergy she’s developed. Had a double bass lesson, and that’s bout it. Ooh, and I bought some new specs too. £400 for glasses! That the curse of age requiring me to buy varifocals.

"... and what can I do for you at this time of the night Officer?"

Its five to two on Friday morning. I’m fast asleep in bed. OD enters my room and shakes my shoulder. “Dad, can you wake up. There’s a policeman in the front room and he wants to make sure there’s an adult in the house”. If there’s one thing you can say about my daughter it is that she never loses the ability to surprise.

So it I get up and, yes, there is a copper in the front room. I soon realise that reason for his appearance is that OD’s chum Helena, who is staying over tonight, does not have permission from her strict Greek father to do so. He has returned home from work around 1:00 (he’s a Taxi driver) to find she is not there, has a rant at his wife for allowing Helena to break the ‘no staying at friends during the week’ rule (despite the fact School doesn’t begin again till Monday), gets in his cab and drives over. Helena, fearful that he might hit her, removes the bell bush from my front door so he can’t ring and I – of course – akip in bed don’t hear the door being knocked. She calls the police and so when I am woken-up there is one PC in my living room whilst another is outside calming Helena’s Dad down. Eventually Helena goes home and I go to bed. When my alarm goes off at 6:20, OD is still awake, too riled at her friend’s Father’s behaviour to go to bed.